LUCY Beaumont has one brutally simple review for Coldplay: hard pass — for reasons that apparently go straight to the stomach.

The comedian says she can no longer listen to “anything by Coldplay”, singling out “Yellow” in particular. It’s not personal, either; Beaumont adds that Chris Martin “seems like a nice guy”, but there’s “something about the tone” that makes her feel carsick.

Her guilty pleasure, though, is a lot more tender. Beaumont admits she secretly likes Ed Sheeran’s “Supermarket Flowers”, even though she tells everyone she hates it. She notes Sheeran wrote it about his grandmother dying, but from his mother’s point of view — and calls it “a really lovely song”, even if she won’t publicly own it.

Beaumont’s earliest musical love was “Caravan of Love” by Hull band the Housemartins, which she says she fell for aged four or five — helped along by childhood memories of her grandparents’ caravan parked in their garden, which she used as a wendy house.

Her first single purchase was Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” from HMV in Hull, despite it being “before my time” — something she puts down to copying what other kids liked at school. As a 12-year-old, she also sat down and learned the rap from TLC’s “Waterfalls”, and says she knows the lyrics to loads of songs.

She reckons Stevie Wonder’s “Superstition” is the best party pick, starts rough mornings with Primal Scream’s “Movin’ on Up”, and says Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here” makes her cry after hearing it at funerals. As for karaoke: she’s never done it and insists she never will — but under extreme pressure, she’d go with Nancy Sinatra’s “These Boots Are Made for Walkin’”.

Beaumont tours the UK from 23 September to 20 June, with the run starting in Scunthorpe.